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Thursday, July 25, 2013
Thankful. It's pretty weird that whenever something happen in my life, I would always have this urge to post about it here. It's really weird, to be honest. I guess I just have that habit to just share all my experiences for the world to know and try to understand, though I doubt any one can understand it fully. I do know that my sharing bits are always dull and depressing, but I don't know.. I just have this comfort in typing about it. Regarding today's post (ie Thankful), yes, I am thankful. What am I talking about? I am thankful for a brother of mine in college. A brother? What brother? A brother of the same aqidah that I love and grateful to have. Why? He had helped me through a lot, actually. Not only just recently, but ever since I met him, he had helped me through a lot. And I do understand why everyone calls him awesome, because to me, he is awesome in so many levels. Maybe just because I'm a little sister that I think highly of him, but to me, that's good. For you see, my motivation level is quite low, and at least after knowing him, I have someone to look up to. Yesterday was the roughest patch of my life, and I broke down entirely. It felt like 4 years ago. Everything seemed dark and horrifying, but alhamdulillah, it seemed like Allah had given me another day to still be here, holding on, and alhamdulillah, abg was there too. I know.. I do sound too dependant of him, but.. Ah.. No one will ever get it. I am thankful that, every single time I broke down, rather than to deal with it alone like how I used to do before, I now have abg (and also my friends). I am thankful that I now have people who wishes me to stay in their lives for good, rather than to deal with people who wishes me to be gone for good. I am thankful. More thankful than how I used to be before. And I want to stay thankful. It's just beyond words could ever explain. I know I relapsed again yesterday (regarding a bad habit here this one), but I didn't do it all the way through. It was different. It felt different. Gosh. I sound so depressing. And it's funny really if I were to say so myself. I presented about 'Depression' yesterday in The Basic of Human Development class. Presenting about that acted like a switch for me. Just after that presentation, I became one of the said patients of depression. How shameful. Aahhh.. I need to go back to basics. Back to square one, just like how ibu told me to the last time I saw her. Back to square one, she says. Remember that, Mar. Believe.. ------------- I don't recommend anyone to fully understand this post, but hey, I don't know... Let's just read and forget. 9:00 PM
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Madza ya'ni My life is based on the phrases stated in the Quran, where Allah has told us : 51:56 "And [tell them that] I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may [know and] worship Me." and also, 2:30 "Note that occasion, when your Rabb said to the angels: I am going to place a vicegerent on earth. The angels said: "Will You place there one who will make mischief and shed blood while we sing Your praises and glorify Your name?" Allah said: "I know what you know not."" Our purposes of life has been clearly stated in the Quran, So, why do we still to continue live otherwise? Greater people Clearly speaking, these people down here are just wonderful people. Give them a ring-a-ding-ding once in a while! :) Ira (1) Ira (2) Farahin APG (Inche Gabbana) |
