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Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Challenges and life. When we talk about life, we always talk about the challenges that we had endured. The pain and suffering, and not only that, we also talk about the joy of our life.. But at times, when we are currently faced with a terribly big and painful challenge, we often forget about the wonders of life itself. We focus more on the hardship of that specific challenge and how at wits' end we are.. And guess what? That is how I currently feel right now... Though I know I shouldn't be, but I just can't help it. It's like an autonomic response, and yet I know I am capable of controlling it myself, but I just wish not to. I guess I'm just tired having to pretend that everything will be okay, when truth be told is that it will not and never will be okay.. It's something that has no positive way of ending, and no matter how you twist and turn it, it will only lead to a negative ending... I had always thought that life after high school would be better, but my thought had been proven to be wrong. Absolutely wrong. I shouldn't be complaining, but we are humans. We have feelings, emotions... When I think about challenges, my mind always plays images of the past. To me, what my past consist of are only mere pain and agony, and little bliss did I felt. I am grateful that I was given challenges enough to make me learn how to stay alive.. And life now (although it may seem hard atm) is a wonder itself to me... They told me : Don't think about it. Just focus on your studies... You shouldn't be thinking about it... But actually, I can't. It's a part of my life, and how can I not think about it when it affects my whole entire life? For years I've searched for ways to solve it, but I always end up with nothing. Zilch. Nada. None. I've cried millions and millions of tears, and I know and I am 100% aware of the fact that there are others who are suffering more than me, like : the Palestinians, the Syrians, the Arabians... But I am still a human. And people always say those exact words to me, cause they are afraid that I will repeat my past (in which I will never will). They should just truthfully tell that to my face, and not just hide it. Cause the past happened because everything was hidden and I was forgotten, and now that I am SELDOM forgotten, the inner pain still remains. Nothing can take away that inner pain I feel ; only Allah can. And I know and realize the fact that, although I am sad and feeling depressed now, one day, insyaAllah, Allah has written something better for me... For us.. For them... Right now, all I can say is Alhamdulillah, I am given another chance to breathe and to repent.. InsyaAllah, I believe in Allah and everything is at His hands.. What there is to happen, will happen... And I hope, that this feeling will just go away on its own... 3:49 PM
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Madza ya'ni My life is based on the phrases stated in the Quran, where Allah has told us : 51:56 "And [tell them that] I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may [know and] worship Me." and also, 2:30 "Note that occasion, when your Rabb said to the angels: I am going to place a vicegerent on earth. The angels said: "Will You place there one who will make mischief and shed blood while we sing Your praises and glorify Your name?" Allah said: "I know what you know not."" Our purposes of life has been clearly stated in the Quran, So, why do we still to continue live otherwise? Greater people Clearly speaking, these people down here are just wonderful people. Give them a ring-a-ding-ding once in a while! :) Ira (1) Ira (2) Farahin APG (Inche Gabbana) |
