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Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Happy eighteenth birthday, Mar. Officially eighteen and I can't sleep. :| Tell me more about being happy on my eighteenth birthday. Oh wait. I reckon anyone even remember. If it wasn't for Facebook, I'll doubt anyone even remembers. :/ But it's okay. I don't find birthdays amusing anyway. Why do we even celebrate it, only God knows why. But each year, on the 23rd of May, I thank Allah for giving me the chance to live by another year. Cause death knows no numbers. Allah still loves me enough to give me another chance, another shot in life after I had made a mistake in the past. I was reckless and actually couldn't find any meaning of life. I have Allah to thank for all that is given to me now. All the ups and all the downs.. "No disaster strikes except by permission of Allah . And whoever believes in Allah - He will guide his heart. And Allah is Knowing of all things." [Quran 64:11] I should grab this chance to repent and become a better Muslimah. I was blinded by the world before, and I will not be blinded by it anymore. Now.. If you're wondering (which I doubt there's actually anyone who reads this ridiculously boring and lifeless blog and even if there was, no one would actually really sincerely give a bloody damn about what I think or type. How 'delightful') why I'm wide awake when it's already 2.32 am, it is because my mind is filled with anxieties and worries in which is actually not necessary and insignificant. -_-" But it continues to make a havoc in my head which had led me to having insomnia for these past few weeks. Inability to go to sleep had been a problem for me ever since I was in Form 4, but right now, it's not as bad as how it was 2 years ago. :/ The things that worry me are simple things and common things students are worrying about : 1) Will I be able to adapt to new changes and to new environment in college? 2) Will I be able to cope with my studies? 3) Will I be able to achieve what I had always wanted? 4) Will I be able to make new friends along the way? 5) Will I be able to make my mom proud? 6) Will I be able to proof to people that I am capable in becoming someone successful? But I'm guessing that one more question that isn't actually common is : 7) Will the past repeat itself and or will it be far worse than it? I shouldn't be thinking about all this.. But I guess I still can't control my own thoughts that much.. Such common common common things.. I feel lonely. Wait, isn't that what I always say? Sigh. Only Allah knows what's inside my head and my heart, and to Him I shall pray and to Him I shall seek guidance, and InsyaAllah, if Allah is willing, then everything will be at ease. PS : I know that this post is rather confusing. In fact, I'm confused of it myself. I can't even find the main topic on this post, and yet, I always do that with my other posts. Harharhar. Okay. I had successfully annoyed myself. -_-" 2:41 AM
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Madza ya'ni My life is based on the phrases stated in the Quran, where Allah has told us : 51:56 "And [tell them that] I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may [know and] worship Me." and also, 2:30 "Note that occasion, when your Rabb said to the angels: I am going to place a vicegerent on earth. The angels said: "Will You place there one who will make mischief and shed blood while we sing Your praises and glorify Your name?" Allah said: "I know what you know not."" Our purposes of life has been clearly stated in the Quran, So, why do we still to continue live otherwise? Greater people Clearly speaking, these people down here are just wonderful people. Give them a ring-a-ding-ding once in a while! :) Ira (1) Ira (2) Farahin APG (Inche Gabbana) |
