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Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Even if... Even if people give me a million dollars, I will never want to step into a high school and become a part of its community as a student! I can step into the school as a teacher or as a visitor, but never a student ever again. What I've been through for the past 5 years of high school has taught me enough and gave me more than enough pain and depression. The discrimination such teens can give and received, the judgments being thrown, and all those irrelevant dramas of just being different. 5 years of high school, and I only enjoyed only a quarter of it; the other three quarters were spent moping and crying. And yes, I have no one else to blame but myself. Although my heart truly says that statement is a lie, I'd rather force myself to believe in such statement. But, because of 5 years of being in high school that had led me to wanting in becoming someone of the Psychology field. Learning and understanding teenage behaviors and mental state of mind. I had always wanted to pursue in something that I can find that I can make a change in it. I had always wanted to pursue in something that I've been through and not let anyone else suffer it like how I did. Although what I had been through wasn't poverty and or other more terrible things, but having to be deceived and having to be judged just because I was different really change my whole perspective of life. And even though knowing it being a good choice and all, I still don't have my heart to go to school again. No. Never. I don't want to deal with all those emotional heartbreak ever again. Even though it's not the same school and all, but high school is just that very painful for me. And if I were to be reminded of high school, my heart just aches and I can and will have the possibility to suffer massive break down. :( I don't even think anyone can really understand it all. But all in all, having to change class when I was in Form 4 was the best thing ever. It changed me completely, and those last two years of high school being in a new class was enough for me to heal my heart from pain and sorrow (although still not healing properly now.). Anyway, not wanting to ruin anyone's view of Form 6 here, but I just hope that those who's going to take Form 6 will enjoy their lives. And I'm not saying that with a big annoying grin on my face and jeering, hell no. I'm saying that from the most bottom of my heart. Assalamualaikum. May Allah bless you all. :) 6:52 AM
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Madza ya'ni My life is based on the phrases stated in the Quran, where Allah has told us : 51:56 "And [tell them that] I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may [know and] worship Me." and also, 2:30 "Note that occasion, when your Rabb said to the angels: I am going to place a vicegerent on earth. The angels said: "Will You place there one who will make mischief and shed blood while we sing Your praises and glorify Your name?" Allah said: "I know what you know not."" Our purposes of life has been clearly stated in the Quran, So, why do we still to continue live otherwise? Greater people Clearly speaking, these people down here are just wonderful people. Give them a ring-a-ding-ding once in a while! :) Ira (1) Ira (2) Farahin APG (Inche Gabbana) |
