|
Profile |
Pasts |
|
Profile |
Pasts |
|
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Final exams and end of sem 1. Final exams are just around the corner, and yes, I am still up and wide awake. I need to seriously focus on my studies right now, but I just thought of dropping in to say Hi to my own blog.. I really need to get a life... :/ Final exams are worrying me, and like as if that's something weird. Everyone is worried. InsyaAllah, I will try my best. :) Though I must say, I am distracted with this temptation to express myself in this blog. How "delightful" that is. Since final exams are near, I manage to get myself dealing with sore throat and coughing. Hoarse voice! :( Nevermind! The more pain, the more I strive. No pain, no gain. Right? Anyway, after final exams, then there's the holidays! :D One month in sweet ol' Sarawak! I miss home. I really miss home. It had been fun being away for a few months, but I miss home too much. And I will make the most of my holidays later by spending it with my loved ones. InsyaAllah, if all goes to plan, I want to go to Serikin, Sibu and Bintulu. >:) Though I've thought of dropping by at school with Zaf and say Hi to my teachers. I missed them lately. :'( Somehow, I just miss their motivations and stories. It's funny, y'know. During in school, we tend to dislike them, but after school, we miss them. I love my teachers, though I may had been a little rude and rebellious back then, but now I've REALLY come to my senses. Life is beautiful. Just plain beautiful. Alhamdulillah, I am fully aware of the difference and changes I'm getting now. I understand thoroughly of why Allah gave me hardship before. The problems I had faced before made me stronger now, and insyaAllah, I will become better and get rid of my anxiety problems, before third semester ends. Hehe. It may be months away, but nothing works immediately anyway. :) Strive to survive. :D Jzkk for reading (if there are any). :D 4:36 AM
Monday, September 24, 2012
Tears. You can't hold and suppress tears at times. And I for once never would have thought about crying in public. Truth be told is, I cry easily. Trying to change about that... Two days ago (since it's 1.26 am now), who knows why I cried. Lies. I know why, but that's not the point. I am someone who doesn't cry easily in PUBLIC, and when I do, I think about it. Comforting hands, comforting words were said to me, but somehow I felt even more guilty and I began to cry more. What is wrong with me lately? What came to my mind that brought me to tears was.. I began to reminisce about the past. How I should be thankful about my life now, cause the past, insyaAllah, will never be repeated. Was I that rebellious and irrational? I am haunted by the past, but the past has taught me how to move on, and I have come to my senses now of the truth ie Islam itself. Tears. Tears. Tears. You can say a litre of tears, but you can't. Tears are normal. Crying is normal, but at times, you just don't want to cry and just move on. At times, I ignore everything, and especially emotions. I want to feel numb. No one can, actually. Emotions are never numb, pain becomes numb. What I'm trying to say is, I dislike crying, but crying at times helps. Especially if you understand how anxiety works. -.- Sigh. I dislike feeling down. PS : A year has passed since Nek Hah left us. Nek, kmkorg rindu ngn ninek. al-Fatihah. :') 1:46 AM
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Emotions. In Introduction to Psychology subject, we learnt about emotions. And if I were to describe my emotions right now, I can't help but to feel sad. Why? That will be your next question, and the answer is always the same, and as easy as ABC. I miss my family. Doesn't everyone? You can't deny it. No matter how much you force yourself to not think or miss them, you just, well, automatically will miss them. They're family after all. They have the same flesh and blood as us. We are one. I don't even know why today, or lately, I just miss them oh so very very much. So much even I am shocked about it. And I for once now, am in such a dilemma, in confusion of what everything that I've been through lately. And I know, I am never alone, cause Allah is always with me, with us. Being in such situation as I am right now really made me think.. What am I doing? Am I doing the right thing? Have I done wrong? Yes, of course I did, whether I realize it or not.. Emotions. Emotions. Emotions. We always tend to blame emotions for everything, but it is we who we should blame, cause emotions won't exist unless we make them exist. We are the one who control our own emotions. I am suppose to sleep, cause I need to go to Masjid al-Ilmi at 5.15 in the morning or so.. But somehow sleep is not here for me to control.. Maybe it was because of caffeine, or my mind is not at peace. I should be, but I can't even control it. Oh well.. Goodnight then... 1:56 AM
Monday, September 17, 2012
Crochet Do you know what I have as an addiction before? Crochet. I love crochet. I love making stuff by crocheting. I enjoy the tranquillity it made me feel. I enjoy making something adorable with my own hands. :( Unfortunately, all my crochet hooks went missing, and my crochet book pattern too. :( That's so sad..  I miss making these and selling them. I enjoy seeing the faces of my customers whenever I am able to make them just like how they wanted it to be. What I want for my birthday would be : World peace and crochet stuff to satisfy my crochet addiction. :( I miss crochet and making amigurumi. D: Can't wait for holidays, then I can make lots and lots of amigurumi. :) 4:17 PM
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Mid Term Alhamdulillah.. Mid terms are finally over (Hopefully). I've got back my Ulum al-Quran mid term marks back, and I got the highest in my tutorial class ie 18.5 over 20. Alhamdulillah. All those reading paid off. Now that is left to wait is for Counselling class and Psychology class. Quizzes are over too, alhamdulillah. All that is left to do now are a few more assignments and two more presentations, insyaAllah. I did my Arab presentation (of course, it's not an individual presentation, or else I would've cried my eyes out in front of the whole class and that would be a complete and utter embarrassment to myself) and I think I did a pretty good job (despite having racing thoughts and increased rate of heartbeat and shaky hands and weird gestures along the way). I just hope my other presentation would be as okay as how I did during Arab class. I sound pretty psychotic at times (and what I clearly mean is when I post stuff in this blog) and a little bit irrational, but hey, I wouldn't change myself for anyone, but only for Him. InsyaAllah, I'm trying my very best to improve myself, although falling along the way, I still have the strength to get back up on my feet and walk forward, alhamdulillah. I know I may have a problem with anxiety at times, but now I realize that in order for me to excel in the psychology field, I need to make plans on how to overcome it (or at least decrease it from taking control over my head). Finals are around the corner, and I really mean it, literally. It's in October. :( But at least we get one month of holiday. I need a rest. Let's just say that I need to type this out, well, actually, out of boredom. :/ Goodnight. 11:57 PM
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Jihad What is the meaning of Jihad? To me, (which I don't know is true or not) Jihad is the spirit to fight for Islam, whether by words or by actions. Everything we do for Islam and because of Allah is Jihad. That is what Jihad means to me. In this life, everything we do is for Allah and no one else, nothing else. Allah created us ; He created Adam and made Eve from Adam. Allah created us to wander around the world, not to create chaos or misery to the world, but to live to pray to Him, cause He is the Almighty, and nothing in this world or just anything can overcome His power. Subhanallah. What I learnt from the movie "Valley of the Wolves", Islam is a beauty to create peace and harmony. In the first place, Palestine was a country of peace and all citizens (no matter if they're Muslims, Jews, Buddhists...etc) lived happily ever after together. But now, the Palestinians are living their lives in misery, and the Israelis are killing specifically Muslims. Why? The answer to that lies within themselves and ourselves. Like what I learnt in Tarbiyah, the Quran is a manual for people to live in perfect harmony on Earth and the Afterlife. For Jannah, insyaAllah. As for the Israelis, they refused to accept the truth and will try their best just so that we, Muslims, do the same, by leaving the Quran and go astray with their entertainment. To them, power on Earth is more significant than that of the Quran. They seek life on Earth more than to the life after it... There also exist people who have no sense of humanity. To my eyes, their humanity had been exchanged with insanity. Just because of their hatred to Islam itself, they are capable of killing innocent children and women. Not only just them, but innocent people. Innocent lives had been mercilessly murdered! How can someone not feel angry and sad about that? Though they are in the Palestine while I'm here in Malaysia, but my brothers and sisters in Palestine will always be in my prayers.. We may not know each other but Ta'aruf is beautiful. We are tied by one connection ie Islam! Islam is a religion of peace, a religion which promises Jannah to those who believes and follow what Rasulullah SAW had left us ; al-Quran and as-Sunnah... Subhanallah... For all this time that I had left and abandoned or not caring about Islam, for all these while, it was Islam that is the truth.. The Quran is the manual for our lives, whether you're a Muslim, a Jew, a Buddhist... Why are Muslims now only have the Quran in their hands, but not in their hearts? Because, the oppressors pushed influences into our lives. Astaghfirullahalazim... How can we call ourselves a Muslim, when the Quran is not in our hearts? Why are we calling ourselves Muslim when we still have couples? In the Quran, al-Isra' : 16, "And do not approach unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way." Do not APPROACH. MasyaAllah... How powerful the Quran is to our lives... I don't know whether people are understanding the meanings I'm trying to explain in this post, but let's just say that, I am reminding myself to not forget Allah.. Remember, when we are feeling down or stressed out about our daily problems, remember the Palestinians. They have to endure war everyday without any sigh or complain.. Subhanallah.. How strong and high spirited they are! The words of compliments towards Allah never goes far from their mouth and heart. They are chasing to Syahid in their homeland, whereas us, we fear of death itself. :'( 4:21 PM
|
Madza ya'ni My life is based on the phrases stated in the Quran, where Allah has told us : 51:56 "And [tell them that] I have not created the invisible beings and men to any end other than that they may [know and] worship Me." and also, 2:30 "Note that occasion, when your Rabb said to the angels: I am going to place a vicegerent on earth. The angels said: "Will You place there one who will make mischief and shed blood while we sing Your praises and glorify Your name?" Allah said: "I know what you know not."" Our purposes of life has been clearly stated in the Quran, So, why do we still to continue live otherwise? Greater people Clearly speaking, these people down here are just wonderful people. Give them a ring-a-ding-ding once in a while! :) Ira (1) Ira (2) Farahin APG (Inche Gabbana) |
